My Life in the Refrigerator

By Rick Barry

Imagine waking up in the middle of a mid-winter's night. Your face, your hand, and any part of your body that's not under the blankets are icy cold. In fact, the temperature in your bedroom feels about five degrees lower than the inside of an igloo.

Has the power gone off? you wonder. Did the furnace break down?

Then your eyes fall upon a bone-chilling sight. Against all logic, someone has opened your bedroom window by about eight inches, allowing in an arctic breeze! Beside you in the bed, your guilty spouse sleeps blissfully.

Welcome to my world.

To be honest, when my wife and I got married, I don't recall the preacher reciting any vows like, "For richer, for poorer; for hotter, for colder . . . ." If he had, that might have been the first clue that my blushing bride has ice water in her veins. They say that love is blind, but I never realized it could also be numb.

Warm blooded vs. cold blooded

Me? I relish hot days, and all the sunshine, beaches, and barbecues that go with them. My lovely wife, on the other hand, barely endures warm weather. With the help of air conditioning, ceiling fans, and tall glasses brimming with iced tea, she survives until autumn. What Pam really thrives on, however, is cold weather—during which she continues to enjoy the same ceiling fans and tall glasses of frosty tea.

"It's hot in here!" Pam will often comment.

To which I might reply, "No, it's not. Your internal thermostat is just broken."

Speaking of thermostats, my ideal setting is around 72˚ Fahrenheit. My other half, however, would set our thermostat at 62˚ (or lower) year round, if I let her. While we're home together, we compromise at 65˚, which is warm to her, but chilly to me. (I'm sure the setting plunges southward when I'm away on business.)
According to one author, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. I don't see how that can be. Being so close to the sun, Venus must be a fairly hot planet. Judging from my wife's love of cooler climes, I suspect that at least some women must be from Neptune. Maybe even Pluto.

So, for most people, the word Frigidaire® refers to a manufacturer of refrigerators. For me, it could be an adjective that describes what I breathe whenever I'm home.

Cool advantages

Of course, I have ways of escaping the icebox from time to time. For instance, whenever I tire of scraping frost from my computer screen, I can head out to the garage, fire up the lawn mower, and work up a decent sweat while basking in the glorious summer sunshine.

Another way to get my blood thawed and pumping again is to don my running gear and jog a few miles around the neighborhood.

But if I'm going to be indoors, summer or winter, I can plan on wearing flannel shirts or thermal underwear (while my wife sports shorts and a tee shirt and continues to remark on how hot it is).

Sure, there are some benefits to letting my wife keep our house as chilly as an ice-skating rink. For example, new acquaintances often tell me I look ten or twelve years younger than I am. I suppose that's to be expected. After all, it's normal for meat kept in a refrigerator to stay fresher for longer.

Another advantage is the free winter sports. I mean, it's not every home where you can toboggan from your second floor down to the ground-floor living room. Plus, after only a couple of swipes with the Zamboni, our kitchen floor is ready for figure skating.

Overcoming differences

For some couples, disagreements about thermostat settings or those icicles hanging in the shower stall could spark arguments, or at least tense feelings. After all, each human being naturally wants his or her own way. When we don't get what we want, there's a genuine temptation to gripe or criticize.

But even though my cold-blooded wife and I operate on totally different temperature scales, we remain best friends. How? Well, for one thing, each of us keeps in mind the goal of pleasing the other. Rather than opposing each other to please self, we both compromise our personal desires in order to satisfy the other.

One biblical instruction for a husband is to love his wife and not be bitter against her (Col. 3:19). God's Word also tells each husband to honor his wife (I Peter 3:7). No doubt, part of loving a wife includes providing a safe and comfortable environment (even if a nippy one) for her to live in.

On the other hand, the Scriptures encourage married women to submit to their husbands (Col. 3:18). So, even though I know my wife would submit if I set the thermostat to my liking and told her not to touch it, my love for her and desire to honor her keep me from making hot-headed decrees. Instead, we make concessions in love.

Sometimes I wonder . . . Was the Lord smiling when He led Pam's and my mismatched body temperatures to each other? I can't say.

But what I do know is that, like snowflakes, no two people are alike. Every husband and wife duo will be similar in some ways, but different in other ways. Those differences, however, are no excuse for anger and quarreling. Like an Olympic bobsled team, spouses need to hunker down together as they navigate the dangerous twists and turns of marital life.

In conclusion, please excuse me if I've committed any typos while writing this article. I do know how to spell—but it's kind of tricky keyboarding while wearing mittens.

P.S. When we all get to Heaven, if the Lord asks for a volunteer to be in charge of the thermostat—will somebody please make sure that Pam doesn't raise her hand?

back to InTouch Today