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Jealousy: The Subtle Thief
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You’ve been friends for years. Having moved from acquaintances to casual friends to what you’d now classify as "very close," your friendship has run the gamut. So why, all of a sudden, are there murky waters in the ocean of your relationship?
Deep down, you know what it is. It’s not an attitude problem, it’s not a grudge; it’s that thing defined as "inner sense of turmoil of uncontrollable lust and desire after some possession, what a person is, a privilege, a position . . ."—jealousy.
What you need to know about jealousy is this: it steals away your life, it ruins relationships, it destroys joy and peace, it moves in slowly and subtly, and it can take over like a thief in the night if you’re not careful.
The Thief That Doesn’t Knock
Like a thief that enters your home, jealousy comes into your heart as an unnoticed, yet uninvited, guest. Honestly, does anyone set out with the goal of being jealous? No. But there are things that precede jealousy, which each of us has the command to resist.
If you’re jealous of what someone else has or who they are, you cannot blame them. Stemming from the flesh, jealousy is always a problem in the carnal, lustful heart of the person who’s jealous.
Jealousy begins with . . .
Misplaced desire. When you desire something outside of God’s will for your life, jealousy often erupts.
A fleshly heart. When your heart isn’t yielding to the Spirit of God, the flesh takes over. Jealousy easily results.
Other companions. Galatians 5:19—21 says that jealousy comes to your heart alongside its deceitful friends: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, and carousing.
Desire is God’s gift to us, yet the object of that desire is our choice. When we look at others’ lives and want what they have, we’re allowing our flesh to take over; we’re desiring something that may be out of God’s will; we’re inviting all kinds of sin into our lives.
The Fickle Thief
Jealousy can easily cause you to turn on someone you’re committed to–even someone you admire. Take Saul and David, for example.
Saul was a beloved king, and he knew of David’s valiant battle with Goliath. He knew of David’s musical talents. So Saul invited the young lad into his court.
As time grew, so did David’s responsibilities under Saul. He fought battles alongside him, and was honored by the people for his courage and skill. As David’s reputation among the people began to increase, Saul’s angry jealousy began to flare as well.
Just as easily as Saul, our envious natures can rise up. There are four objects of jealousy:
Others’ possessions. This is the "stuff" that other people have and you want.
Others’ positions. "If I could just be where he or she is; if I could only get that same promotion."
Others’ privileges. "If only I had the opportunity that he’s had. If only I came from the same kind of family . . ."
Other people. This is when you see who someone is–how he looks, his personality, skills, and talents–and you want to be just like him.
When you let the subtle thief of jealousy enter in, it can overcome you. Not only does it affect your relationship with the person of whom you’re jealous, but it also destroys your fellowship with others.
For instance, Saul’s envy certainly caused him to hate and hunt down David. Yet it also caused Saul to treat his own son with the same contempt. Jonathan’s friendship with David (1 Samuel 18:1—4) was the topic of countless heated arguments between him and his father.
Saul’s relationship with his daughter, Michal, was also destroyed by his schemes against David. In 1 Samuel 18:17—30, we learn of a plan that backfired. Saul wanted to pin his daughter against his enemy. Yet his plans went awry when Michal’s allegiance to her father was superceded by her love for David.
When you give your heart over to jealousy and rage, bitterness and anger ensue. It’s then that your former devotion to family and friends so easily turns fickle.
While jealousy’s lure is deceptive and its end destructive, you can resist it.
September 2001 - By Brooke Redwine
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