Emotions

There are many times when I feel as if no one cares for me.
How do I cope with these feelings of loneliness?

Paul was imprisoned in Rome when he wrote this letter to his son in the faith, Timothy. More than likely, he knew that his own death was imminent. It is sobering to read how he admonished Timothy to keep the faith and to finish well. Paul wanted to finish well: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith"(2 Timothy 4:7).

What an incredible statement! Every believer should long for those words to describe him or her. Not everyone finishes well. And Paul knew it. He referred to some who were troublemakers. He mentioned Jannes and Jambres, who had opposed Moses (2 Tim. 3:8). And then he got closer to home by mentioning Demas's forsaking him, and Crescens and Titus and Alexander the coppersmith for not standing with him (2 Tim. 4:10, 14).

We would think out of all the people Paul had led to Christ, some would support him during his time of imprisonment. Paul, however, was considered as an enemy of Judaism. He specifically tried to reach the Jews and used texts from the Law and the Prophets, including a lengthy quote from Isaiah (Acts 28:17-31). The Bible tells us that some believed and some didn't (v. #24), although he preached to them "from morning till evening" (v. #23). After so many of the Jews rejected what he was preaching, Paul let them know he would preach to Gentiles (v. #28). That caused no small stir, and Paul was not winning friends with his statement!

We do a disservice to the biblical characters and ourselves when we think the biblical characters did not have feelings like we do.

Paul faced prison alone. He, as a man, must have felt isolated. Joseph was lonely after his brothers threw him into the pit. Moses was lonely when he led the squabbling children of Israel out of Egypt. (One can be very lonely though surrounded by lots of people.) David was lonely as he evaded Saul's pursuit, providing the backdrop for some of the great psalms. Jeremiah and so many of the prophets were lonely men. In the New Testament, Mary, no doubt, was lonely when she was expecting—out of wedlock—her Son. Surely, few of the village women believed her incredible story and wanted to associate with her.

The biblical characters were often isolated, estranged, and desolate. In the last months of Paul's life, he gives us the wonderful secret of what to do in times of intense loneliness and pain.

Let's take a closer look.

What was Paul's secret in dealing with loneliness?

First of all, he was aware of the presence of God. He said, "But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me" (2 Tim 4:17). Paul couldn't change or fix his situation, but in that lonely damp prison cell he was aware that One was with him.

God had strengthened him at other times during his ministry. After some had resisted his preaching, Paul literally shook his garments out and exclaimed, "Your blood be upon your own heads; I am clean" (Acts 18:6). "The Lord spoke to Paul in the night by a vision, 'Do not be afraid, but speak, and do not keep silent; for I am with you'" (Acts 18:9-10). The implication is that Paul had been afraid. He had feelings just like we do.

On another occasion, Paul was brought before the Sanhedrin, and the Sadducees and Pharisees got into a heated argument about him. It got so raucous that the commander was afraid Paul would be torn to pieces. The Bible says, "But the following night the Lord stood by him" (Acts 23:11).

Paul was a mighty warrior for the faith, but he was still a man and he still experienced a range of strong emotions. But Paul was aware of the presence of God in each predicament.

Another secret Paul had in dealing with loneliness was his awareness of God's strengthening him (2 Tim. 4:17). We often quote Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Paul was in jail when he wrote that verse, also.

The Lord strengthened Paul. Paul was infused with strength. He knew no one could take his life without God's permission. He had God's strength coursing through his spirit.

When the Lord Jesus Christ was in the Garden of Gethsemane, "an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him" (Luke 22:43). We should never be too proud to ask for strength. Jesus Himself needed to be strengthened in His hour of trial.

Paul was aware of His strengthening in his hour of trial.

The last secret Paul had in dealing with loneliness was his awareness that he had an awesome privilege of fulfilling God's purpose for his life. What incredible encouragement that is - to know we are part of God's providential plan.

Paul was aware of the presence of God; he was aware that the Lord stood by him, when others didn't, and strengthened him; and he was aware that he was supernaturally enabled until God had fulfilled through him all that He wanted to.

But in his loneliness, he treasured his friends. After mentioning those who did not stand with him, he wrote that Luke was with him. And he wanted Mark to come. He mentioned four people by name who were with him: Eubulus, Pudens, Linus, and Claudia (2 Tim. 4:21). Isn't it amazing to realize that we know absolutely nothing else about those four people other than they stuck with the apostle Paul? That has to be one of the greatest compliments they could be paid!

I hope and pray that I am a faithful friend to some lonely pastor out there. I hope and pray that I am that kind of friend to my grandchildren—that when they feel terribly lonely, they know Gramps will be there for them. I have friends like that in my life, and I praise God for them.

Paul asked Timothy to bring a cloak with him, obviously to ward off the chill in the damp prison, and some books, "especially the parchments" (2 Tim. 4:13). The books may have been the Gospels, and the parchments may have been the Hebrew Scriptures. We are not told. But knowing the apostle Paul, who wrote about the precious Word of God to Timothy (2 Tim. 3:15-17), we may assume that he hungered for his copies of the Scriptures.

William Tyndale, who was imprisoned fifteen hundred years after Paul for putting the Word of God into the language of the common people, wrote a friend to bring him a "warmer cap, something to patch my leggings, a wool shirt, and most of all my Hebrew Bible." Tyndale knew what the apostle Paul knew—in the hour of great loneliness, the Word of God is of great comfort.

Feeling isolated and alone is a feeling that seeps into the bones. We all experience it from time to time. Some experience it for only a short while; others for a lifetime.

We can take comfort from the biblical characters, and specifically from the apostle Paul, that God's presence is with us; He is strengthening us (whether or not we feel that He is); and we are being used in a greater way than we imagine fulfilling His plan in our lives.

We can take comfort from the Word of God.

And we need to make sure that we are faithful friends to others who may be hurting and lonely.

The Lord Jesus Christ was totally alone as He faced and endured the Cross. As man, He was alone because the Bible says that "all the disciples forsook Him and fled" (Matt. 26:56). And as the God-man, He was totally alone when He cried, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" (Matt. 27:46). He knows what loneliness feels like. He knows as well the joy of being carried through the loneliest of times on the wings of faith - faith that His Father and your God will never abandon one He loves. In this way Jesus stands as the ultimate example of One who faced the perils of loneliness without losing heart.

2 Timothy 4:16-17
At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them. But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me.

Taken from:

The Glorious Journey
by Dr. Charles Stanley
Used with permission. Thomas Nelson Publishing, Nashville, Tennessee

Courage In The Lonely Hour

God's Promises: Loneliness