This Week on the Street...

See how siblings get along and then chat about the videos with your little ones.

• Brothers and Sisters Video Queue
  Celebrate siblings on Sesame Street.
• Bert's Brother Bart
  Watch what happens when Bert's twin brother Bart comes for a visit.

Treat Family Like Friends

Learning About Respect During Play Time Ideas for fun ways to teach your child about respecting others.

My 6-year-old daughter Annabel dances through the house, singing a catchy song she learned at school that goes like this: "I've got to treat my friends like family, treat my family like friends."

She sings it so often that her 4-year-old sister Phoebe has memorized it too. And that's a good thing, because the song serves as an excellent discussion starter for whenever I need to talk to my daughters about their squabbling.

While I'd need an invisibility cloak to know for certain, I suspect Annabel and Phoebe treat their friends more respectfully than they treat each other. I've seen Phoebe with her friends, sharing her toys, taking turns, and using her words to express feelings. But, when two sisters play with each other, their behavior is different. Especially in the summer, when the girls spend scads of one-on-one time together, they tend to push each other's buttons with ferocity, bickering more often and lapsing into old patterns of unfriendly behavior.

So, in our mother-daughter get-along chats, we dwell on the second part of the song's line, "I've got to treat my family like friends."

"Phoebe," I say, "would you grab toys out of your friends' hands, pinch them, or pour sand in their dresser drawers? No? Then I expect you to treat your sister with the same respect."

How Do Other Parents Do It?

Handling Delicate or Hurtful Situations It's important to be prepared with the right responses so that you can react calmly.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person whose children lock horns with regularity. It's not the sort of thing other parents brag about. Maybe that's why I don't often hear my friends sharing their tips for keeping siblings in harmony.

So, recently, I asked some parent friends the following question: "Do your kids sometimes engage in extreme bickering? What do you do to help siblings get along?"

One mom said she follows the advice in the book Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (published by Perennial Currents). In this book, the authors talk about making the distinction between allowing feelings and allowing actions. (Parents can permit their children to express all their feelings, but can't permit them to hurt each other.) The authors also advise against making comparisons between siblings, which will lead to competitive feelings between them.

Another friend said, "Stay out of the line of fire. And never ever choose favorites. Kids pick up on everything."

Here are a couple strategies I find work when we need a little more harmony in our house:

Working It Out in the End

Sometimes I just accept that bickering is part of the bargain when you have more than one child. I try to ignore the low-key squabbles -- staying "out of the line of fire," as my friend said -- and get involved only when things require intervention. I try to think of low-key fighting as good practice for navigating through problems.

Lest you think our home is a war zone, let me assure you -- it's not. Many, many days, the sisterly love flows like lava. Phoebe may know how to push Annabel's buttons, but she's also capable of encouraging and supporting her. And after her big sister comes home from a long day at school or summer camp, I know that Phoebe will be right there, before any squabbles begin, to give Annabel a long, tight hug.

Alice Bumgarner
Sesame Workshop

ABOUT THE WORKSHOP

Sesame Workshop is a nonprofit educational organization making a meaningful difference in children's lives around the world. Founded in 1968, the Workshop changed television forever with the legendary Sesame Street. Today, the Workshop continues to innovate on behalf of children in 120 countries, using its proprietary research methodology to ensure its programs and products are engaging and enriching. Sesame Workshop is behind award-winning programs like Dragon Tales and Sagwa, The Chinese Siamese Cat, Pinky Dinky Doo and ground breaking multimedia productions in South Africa, Egypt and Russia. As a nonprofit, Sesame Workshop puts the proceeds it receives from sales of Sesame Street, Dragon Tales and Sagwa products right back into its educational projects for children around the world. Find the Workshop online at http://www.sesameworkshop.org.